The first step is recognition, the second is…

Observations

Yesterday evening, I felt alone, powerless when it comes to life and I was very insecure about whether I was doing the right things. I still have no answer to these feelings. They sometimes come up. Together with those feelings was a strong desire to have a space of my own, a space that looks like me. A place I can enter and say: thank God, I am home.

Recently I underwent too much trouble again, too much stress and for the first time in my life I can think of, I have trouble answering even private messages. It’s been only half a week that this phenomenon started improving and I asked my friend Amy if something like emotional burnouts exist and she, who is a personal trainer, says, yes. This could be it. I might be suffering from an emotional burnout while still worried about some basic issues such as health insurance, which among other things caused me a quite long nightmare last night. And I feel very distracted from solving my problem. I also did in my dream.

So, here’s an observation I have made. In April I bought this amazing feather earring which broke in May. The fine noose had broken into two sole and very short strings, unconnected and without me having any idea of how to fix it. Throughout the months I often looked at it, not knowing exactly what I could do.

This morning I saw the ear wire on my desk and I went to the kitchen to look at the feather part. I remembered that I have a small carry on sewing kit and brought all three items together on the sofa. I took a white thread and started sewing, connecting both loose ends. Within the process I thought that I could also try to tie the feather end with the thread to the ear wire. And it worked. In less than five minutes, I had fixed my dearest feather earring from Acre, Brazil.

So, this is, what it’s like in life. When you have a complex problem, you won’t find a complete solution right away. You can move in steps. The first step is recognizing that it’s there. Furthermore, look at it. The second is, to start working on it with an idea you have and the solution will appear along the way.

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