Blowing faster

Creative

The wind blows faster

through the colorful corridor

Invites you to seek for his origins

Somewhere at the seaside

More than an hour away

People come to a quiet and calming place

To make it loud and agitated

Children scream and parents shout

Adults start talking louder

I guess that’s the way it is

when you have more than one child

Oh, dear wind! Don’t give up on blowing

refreshing my mind

and trying to bring back calmness

into this colored corridor

Pacing in the same spot for a long time

Observations

Image result for Atsuko Tanaka sand

Looks like my last post made the round and I have seen some people trying the Facebook diet. Suddenly you are much more aware of the overflow of information. But my topic today is another one.

“Pacing in the same spot for a long time! was what artist Atsuko Tanaka thought when she draw her circles into the sand of the beach on Awaji Island in the 60ies. And I guess we all can transfer this idea into our own lives. I feel like pacing at the same spot for a long time, like in many areas I am just not really moving forward and there are days where I am good with that because I see how everything is nothing but a mere construct we have all built up together but on some other days I miss someone giving me a challenge. Again on other days i feel like I am over challenging myself.

What seems to help is to go through my possessions and get rid of some of them. Gives me the feeling of a partly liberation because it is the attachment to things, people, places, moments and even ideas that keeps us from moving wherever we want to move.

I am going to donate some of my art books to the Japan House in Sao Paulo, so that some others can make sense out of them.

Kika

 

 

 

 

The 5-Day Zero Facebook Diet 

Observations

Yes, this diet might help your brain to recover from the overload of unwanted (or wanted?) information.

I did it – I survived it.

I took the decision super spontaneously when drinking a beer at the Galeria 540 and grabbing my cell phone to check if there were any updates in the world that would keep me busy for the next 30 seconds when the conversation around me got stuck. The moment I caught myself doing that, I knew I could need a Facebook Diet. An I was aware of the fact, that this was nothing to think about for too long, because I could have changed my mind easily during the process. Open Facebook – log out – Live with all the consequences.

 

The 5-Day 0-Facebook
The first day:

I received a couple of message advices from Facebook and was tagged in a post. It was a tiny little bit tempting to think about accessing my site to see if I really wasn’t missing any big events. But then I convinced myself that whatever it was that I would miss, it just couldn’t be that significant. And if there was anything really important, people would easily find a way to contact me in other ways.

The other days:

Didn’t miss accessing Facebook that much and I am already thinking about a more radical diet the next time, including Instagram and LinkedIn.

I realized throughout the last weeks that my online behavior had changed. I was sometimes only a bit bored for a minute or so, had some time to pass. Like entering the elevator and running down twenty floors or arriving five minutes too early at my students’. A couple of free minutes: what should I do with all the boredom?

Occasionally I read an article of an acquaintance on LinkedIn two weeks ago, who was complaining about smartphones and wanted to get rid of his.

I have not much against smartphones themselves. Yes,they accelerated our lives but in my case, just like in many others, a smartphone is necessary for my job. I can do much more when outside my home office, send quotes, reschedule classes, prepare homework, work on our online marketing, etc. But the article was right about that one point I explained above: filling every free minute with input, forgetting what it means  to be centered inside.

And when I saw this behavior developing in me, I needed to take a break.

The results:

I did not miss anything important.

I am more realistic again about social networking sites.

I had enough time to run some ‘thought processes’  to get some of my own projects back on track and to naturally find solutions to daily issues.

The 5-Day Zero Facebook Diet – You can do it!

White cat – black cat! Both are nice! 

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I am on the bus to Barra Funda to pick up our rental since our car will be in the garage for a check. 

There aren’t many people on the bus but all ten are female and about three of them talk loud enough for the rest of us to participate in their conversation by listening involuntary. 

But that is not what I was going to write about. It is just a factor that hinders me from thinking clearly. 

Today I have decided to turn down the job offer. I wasn’t guaranteed the position so far anyway. It all made me feel a bit stuck in life and taking decisions for my future. 

Now I feel so much better. My friend Lena posted yesterday: 

I dream a lot. And I live very fast. No wonder, I forgot my dreams sometimes. 
She then described the situation of visiting a Buddhist monastery far off the mainstream life and how she remembered that this was one of her dreams. So, with each step we take, we might get closer to some of our dreams, when letting life come naturally. The job I got offered was very interesting but away from my work reality in terms of freedom and responsibility and some other principles, I guess. And then I remembered a dream of mine, which was to travel in China for mere touristic reasons, without studying or working over there. 

Until the end of the year, I would like to have the money, that I would need for a short three week trip. 

And what does it have to do with cats? 

When walking to the bus stop, I first found a white cat and caressed her. Continuing my walk, I encountered a black cat on my way which was also very sweet and not jealous of the white cat, which has marked me first. 

So, black or white, all is fine. It is still a cat. My decisions in life all have the potential to turn out just fine as long as I am living my life. 

Beijos 

Que será será 

Observations

This song came to my mind just when finally heading to bed. What will be, will be. I haven’t thought about this song since 2012 when I performed it in a music school in our neighborhood. 

These days were so full of different projects, actually plenty of creative and fun activities but all in all too much. Also I have had two job interviews at a company that had contacted me which confused me a lot because I wasn’t really looking for a job. And then the anxiety: will I get the job or not? And I am not really sure what makes me feel like this. 

But then this song came to my mind and now I know that this is exactly what I should be thinking. Let life go the way it goes. And thus: go with the flow and don’t think too much. Trying to influence my life too much just makes me tired.

So I am going to hum the melody while falling asleep. 

Hmmm hmmm hm hm hm 

Hmm hm hm hm hm hm hmm

Hmm hm hm hm hmm hm hmm 

Hm hm hmm hm hmm

https://youtu.be/xZbKHDPPrrc

The size of your windows 

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I quit my fasten period tonight and drink a beer at the Sashinha, which is a small corner bar close to my house. And when looking at the skyscrapers in front of me, I thought, which skyscraper best describes my desires and my personality. While looking at the options I realized that status comes with the size of your windows. 
Funny, right? But in São Paulo it is kind of like that. The more light comes in, the more expensive the apartment. Daylight became a luxury good in the last decades. Something so natural is a privilege to either the poorest living without a roof and the richest, paying an immens sum to receive enough daylight. 

Strange new world! 

The Unforeseeable Makes a Story to Tell

Memories

Have you ever been really pissed on a trip? Something happened and made you think: “What the hell?” Well, I just thought back to some of our stories and how we laugh about them every time we tell them, even if we wanted to make someone pay for it the time the event occurred.

Like, there was this time when my mum and me were in Rome. We rented a small place in the center. The thing was, it had a special security door I had never seen in my entire life. That door was so secure that we once locked ourselves in. Oh no! Damn it! Turning the key back and forth and nothing worked.

And by then I had no mobile Wifi abroad. So I could not really reach the landlord to ask for help. I got the idea to open the window and try to find someone willing to help us opening the door from outside. Now, it was a very lonesome, narrow street. And by the way, I do not speak Italian. I speak Portuguese but know how Italian sounds and have a slight idea of word-endings.

So, the first two passersbys  must have thought that we were trying to set them up. My Italian was like: Hello! We in room! Door! (showing the key), not open. You door (making signs for the person to walk upstairs). Only after twenty minutes, the third person, who was a lady in her 50ies, showed her goodwill, accepted the keys and walked up to the first floor to save us. Lucky us! The day trip could start!

Another funny story is when I booked a trip to the Black Forest (Schwarzwald) for my aunt and mum. I thought: “These girls really need to relax.” Through the internet, I found a charming place in the middle of nowhere. Well! It was winter, freezing cold, and the place had no functioning heater. There was only one restaurant and it was obviously uncommon for two women to walk in, drink beer and smoke cigarettes. They were relaxing actually by being confronted with a new culture in the country they had already been living in for three decades. Anyway, one afternoon they decided to walk up the mountain and drink a glass of wine when reaching the peak. Which is what they did. Not considering that after drinking the wine, it would already be dark. Feeling drunk and happy they walked down the mountain, could not identify the right path anymore and after an hour of being lost, they finally got help from a confused forest ranger who crossed their way. Lucky them!

These are the stories we tell each other when we get together. “And do you remember the time when we …?”. Do you have such stories to tell? If yes, please comment!

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Let’s talk about problems, baby!

Basic

Yes! Problems! Something we like to hide from family and even from friends. We don’t want anybody to worry about us and we might think, we’ll get this straight by ourselves. Also, we fear we might overload the other. When a friend comes to me and tells me about their problem, I feel a bit helpless because I would like to take all that bothers the other away in a minute, but I can’t. I think at least a day intensively about my friend’s problem.

Some of us have less problems and some others have more, depending on lifestyle, circumstances and communication skills.

Some of you might feel like me and see the same problems appearing again and again, just like circles of which we can’t get out.

I’ve tried almost everything. At first, I tried to point them out and explain myself, then I tried to see myself as the cause of the problem, then I started fighting against and I have recently also tried laissez-faire. Nothing of it really works in the long term.

So, tonight I decided to turn the wheel completely around, to finally move out of that old, smelly circle.

From now on I will try to be better prepared when the problem stops by again. I will be more thoughtful considering my words and actions and I will also be more consequent. Said and done! Actions have consequences.

I will stop to see myself as the victim and I also won’t allow anybody to point me out as the cause of the problem.

I will try to communicate much clearer my observations and needs.

Guess, this is it for now! xoxo

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