When the year moved from 2019 to 2020, I was staying with my mum in the mountains in Svib, our old family home. I had time to calm down, because my mother was so kind to take care of everything. During the Christmas days, she also suggested that I would be less online, and I tried, even though I couldn’t be completely offline.
With more time to reflect on my life, and after opening up towards my mother about my dating status, I felt very unsatisfied. Here I was, dating a guy whom I couldn’t call whenever I wanted, with whom I couldn’t just ‘take the next step’. And I felt like I had never chosen this. These were not clear conditions when I fell in love and when we started sharing. It’s been such an amazing but also very difficult year.
A day before New Year’s we broke up and I published a poetry book related to this love story. At least about 85% of the poems deal with my feelings for him. These were the poems I had written outside of our exchange poetry project, which we call ‘Wolken’.
Now, the story didn’t end. Just like a friend of mine said: every story has a happy end, and if it is not happy, it is not the end.
“Eines Kolibris Flug – Durch die Höhen und Tiefen einer Liebe” is the title available on Amazon and this Thursday at 7.30 pm I will read a selection at the Livraria in Berlin.
Would be a pleasure to meet you!