Never ending processes of change


My last trip back to my old homes in Germany and Croatia taught me again a lot. This time I managed to meet different old friends and I have also spent the summer with my family after many years. Since I live in Brazil and travelling during the European summer is more expensive than in other seasons, I rarely had the chance. But summer in Croatia on our little hill with those family members who are still alive, was a good experience.

And I don’t know where to start and how to describe all these impressions of mine.

We arrived in Frankfurt in the end of July. Since we both started smoking again, we went to the smoking area outside. Frankfurt is an international airport receiving travelers from all over the world and many aren’t used to such smoking zones. Anyway, so there were a lot of cigarettes on the floor and one of the pipelike ashtrays caught fire. The responsible cleaner, a man in his 40s, visually with an Arabic background, really lost it and cursed while violently cleaning the area. And this is something that one can see in Germany and surely some other countries, too, independent from the cultural background of the employees. People show their frustration openly and feel no urge to be polite or positive in front of others. Two days later when sitting in a café in Heidelberg with our friends from Brazil, I reflected how I used to be towards customers when working at the cashier in the cinema. It is a very stressful job and one where you can learn that most people are actually very helpless creatures when it comes to finding information. So, almost all of us regularly lost it in front of the customer. I regularly asked people, if they knew how to read. Since I live in Brazil, I think that I have changed. Brazilians are different and I would say, that they never show their personal frustration or problems in a professional context. And I don’t think that this is wrong. Some might say that it is unhealthy to put on a mask at work but I think that both, the service provider and the customer benefit from this since they are leaving the situation satisfactorily. Within the years I learned to appreciate this and I used it to develop naturally this polite character trait within me and I actually feel like this is much more ‘me’. I am not weak because I am polite. And after a terrible fight at home, it actually helps me to get better, when I encounter my students with a smile and listen to their weekend adventures.

There were many other little experiences I had during our vacation and maybe I will tell you more about this, soon.

Go and pick some daisies ^~^!


Slow mind and wild dreams


It’s been more than a week since I got back to Europe. First we visited Heidelberg and participated in the beautiful wedding of a wonderful friend and now we’re in Croatia. The days and nights are hot and my mind goes slower while the heat at night makes me dream and process weired stuff. Like, when I saw how aggressive people can be when they don’t like their jobs and cultural etiquette never taught them to keep their hatred to themselves. In Germany you can see many imigrants working in lower cleaning jobs and especially man, when they think that they should be doing something more prestigious, can become very unsatisfied and provocative. I remember a case where the father of a friend, who used to work as a doctor in a libanese hospital, could not validate his doctor’s degree in Germany and was forced to work as a cleaner at a hospital. This frustration and his cultural background made him treat the women of his family very bad.

Here in Croatia overly emotional reactions are so normal, especially for men.

All these things that I see, the shared unhappiness of many people, makes me feel misplaced but also reflect on how much of this emotional local culture influences me in my behavior until today. I have learned so much but when people are really very close, sometimes reason does not lead me and I get blind to the fact that I might have misunderstood a situation.

Well, it is always interesting to get back and learn from the encounters.

White cat – black cat! Both are nice! 


I am on the bus to Barra Funda to pick up our rental since our car will be in the garage for a check. 

There aren’t many people on the bus but all ten are female and about three of them talk loud enough for the rest of us to participate in their conversation by listening involuntary. 

But that is not what I was going to write about. It is just a factor that hinders me from thinking clearly. 

Today I have decided to turn down the job offer. I wasn’t guaranteed the position so far anyway. It all made me feel a bit stuck in life and taking decisions for my future. 

Now I feel so much better. My friend Lena posted yesterday: 

I dream a lot. And I live very fast. No wonder, I forgot my dreams sometimes. 
She then described the situation of visiting a Buddhist monastery far off the mainstream life and how she remembered that this was one of her dreams. So, with each step we take, we might get closer to some of our dreams, when letting life come naturally. The job I got offered was very interesting but away from my work reality in terms of freedom and responsibility and some other principles, I guess. And then I remembered a dream of mine, which was to travel in China for mere touristic reasons, without studying or working over there. 

Until the end of the year, I would like to have the money, that I would need for a short three week trip. 

And what does it have to do with cats? 

When walking to the bus stop, I first found a white cat and caressed her. Continuing my walk, I encountered a black cat on my way which was also very sweet and not jealous of the white cat, which has marked me first. 

So, black or white, all is fine. It is still a cat. My decisions in life all have the potential to turn out just fine as long as I am living my life. 



The size of your windows 


I quit my fasten period tonight and drink a beer at the Sashinha, which is a small corner bar close to my house. And when looking at the skyscrapers in front of me, I thought, which skyscraper best describes my desires and my personality. While looking at the options I realized that status comes with the size of your windows. 
Funny, right? But in São Paulo it is kind of like that. The more light comes in, the more expensive the apartment. Daylight became a luxury good in the last decades. Something so natural is a privilege to either the poorest living without a roof and the richest, paying an immens sum to receive enough daylight. 

Strange new world! 


The infinite way of doing it all the same way again and again


A moment

Passing the second I try to grasp it

A warm wind

Embracing my blink of loneliness

History proves

That mankind hasn’t changed

Stories, yes

We got more of those


And some people have a day off

Others are serving

Climbing and falling

Seem to be pure illusions

Young and old

Only following


Tap tap

A cat on my mind

Purr purr

Dear all

Why are you so kind

And cruel at the same time


Guest Star: Kikinha ­the Brazilian


My article on Katzenworld about little Kikinha was published today, though the situation has changed a lot since when I wrote that article. Here we go! Have fun reading!


While the fire burns


The dog sleeps
The cat walks carefully
The nightingale sings and
The stars shine

The house is still
The dreams, they fly
The heart seeks
For true peace

The wine sinks in
The armchair invites
The pictures tell
This is my good bye


Flirting Nightingales


I can’t describe my emotions over this natural beauty of Svib,  a small place,  a sad place where most people lost all their hopes.  Our house in the mountains is very isolated and peaceful.  During the day you only want to lay down in the grass and listen to the bees and flies and birds.  But the night is even more exciting.  You can see this wide sky,  full of shining stars,  seeming so close,  close to you,  your soul,  your mind,  your everything.  And then those flirting Nightingales.  The male,  just 20 metres away from me and the female somewhere within a 100 metres.  At first I thought that those birds must be crazy and confused to sing at night but then my dear friend Alexandra told me that the beautiful singing comes from the nightingales. I am so full of admiration.  Wow!  I love this sky!


Sometimes a hotdog saves you


From a conversation that was more than unhappy and demotivating.

Escaping the usual actually feels good. I wouldn’t normally sit here on a Thursday night eating a Nuernberger (sorry to all my veggie friends) and observe life in this 15 m2 place in Vila Madalena.  The owner of Go Dog doesn’t make much money but is very idealistic about service and I like that. 

It is not a place to be anonymous. You share the tables.  But that is nice.  The man sitting in front of me is having his second hot dog.  The two couples beside me are dating,  one in their forties,  the other in their fifties. The first one might not meet a second time.

Observing life and sharing good ideas is natural for me and just as Jewel sang in the nineties “I’m sensitive and I’d like to stay that way.”

Boa noite