Voices from the past

Creative

Just one of these nights

but rarer and rarer

Carmenére and green tea

You wish you could do the same

at this very moment

Just walk out

walk the streets

mix your feelings

let the memories come

but you live in the wrong city

you’re living in a secret prison

you’re being maybe a secret person

nights come and cover

and homes become cages

and wandering souls

only keep wandering in their own minds.

 

__

Kika

_.-,´+#.

 

Photo by Aletha-YF

a-noite-escura-da-alma_-foto-de-aleth-a-yf-1-e1425398837826

Love’s Stages

Creative

This poem was written for my brother-in-law and his beautiful wife. They got married in December and this is what came to my mind.

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Love’s Stages

When young
we chase it
Madly passionate about the other
and head over heels
We give our bodies away
_
While growing older
We feel a stronger need to share
Our deepest thoughts
And to be held
by someone truly special
_
While growing together
We learn to listen
And therefore understand
We may kiss less passionate
But grip much stronger
_
While letting the fruits
Of our attraction grow
We learn about limitations
And unconditional love
Nurturing itself
From generation to generation
_
May love be your companion
And make life worth living
_
by: Igotdaisies

The infinite way of doing it all the same way again and again

Uncategorized

A moment

Passing the second I try to grasp it

A warm wind

Embracing my blink of loneliness

History proves

That mankind hasn’t changed

Stories, yes

We got more of those

 

And some people have a day off

Others are serving

Climbing and falling

Seem to be pure illusions

Young and old

Only following

 

Tap tap

A cat on my mind

Purr purr

Dear all

Why are you so kind

And cruel at the same time

The importance of going your own way OR It’s good to say goodbye to your parents

Basic

When I was 17, I moved out the first time. I moved to another city to attend acting school. I admit, that was a bit too early and it was financially hard for me. But the experience I made that year (I moved back 7 months later) was absolutely worth it. Learning how to live in a big city, getting a job, learning about how to protect myself and especially learning from other people’s experience. I grew so much! The second time I moved out, I was 21. This time I would live by myself for 8 years. Actually some years later, my mum moved in with me. It was a very rich time and I became extremely independent and learned to trust people. Working in very different places, I got a pretty good idea about what work means to people. I grew and grew and grew. I moved in with my mother at the age of 28 1/2, my last year at university, very little time to work beside writing my thesis and preparing for the tests. It was a great time. We were sharing as adults.

Now, I still have a good contact with my mother and with some uncles, aunts and cousins. But I have my own life, far over the ocean. I have lived in two other countries in my adult life and I am happy about having taken these opportunities to grow and to figure out (still in the process) of what matters in life. I don’t come from a wealthy family and I managed it.

I am writing this article for those, who are extremely integrated into their families and give up on ideas or dreams that would lead them apart. Parents, who don’t support your ideas and don’t kick you out of the nest, miss an important point: our life is short and we need to develop ourselves in order to be able to really care about and take care of others. If we don’t learn to do what we really want, we won’t become truly successful. Many might even become frustrated and distract themselves by analyzing only other people’s problems.

If you are in your twenties and haven’t left your parents or your country yet, please, ask yourself some questions and find out, if what holds you back are actually realistic reasons.

It is so important to stand on your own feet and go for your own goals, even if you don’t always achieve them, but you’ve got to try!

 

Between Years – Between Worlds

Basic

Drinking coffee in the morning. Back to Sao Paulo. I am actually not a coffee person but throughout the years I drink it more and more.

2016 was an interesting year, difficult, rich, funny, moving forward in small steps. I have spent the last days of 2016 in Svib, Croatia, with my mother and grandmother. Even the father, who is a good friend of our family, was with us on New Year’s Eve. Oh! But I am not supposed to tell you that. He is worried about local gossip. And he is right because gossipping is a very common human trait, unfortunately.

I came back to Brazil two days ago and I am not really being myself. These two worlds, winter in Svib with my family, the place where I lived from the age of 1,5 years to when I was almost five, and Sao Paulo, the biggest city in Brazil, in South America, as the song from Caetano Veloso says. My husband made me a CD before we got together. This song was on it – the version interpreted by Mutantes. It was introducing my future. I am listening to it right now. How did life go?

During my trips, I always meet friends and family, somehow mostly different parts of my past and also present, since we keep in touch. With some people I see how they move forward and develop into a good direction. I also meet people who are imprisoned in their lives and ideals given by their society, by their surroundings.  I am a fan of simple lifestyle but on the other hand, when looking at those simple dreams, such as constructing a house for your family or looking forward to your retirement at the age of 65, I find it too few to be happy with.

I have also met a person whom I had completely misjudged before. A friend of my aunt’s. She seemed so calm and nice the first time we met. As I figured out by myself, she was recovering from a surgery by then and that was maybe the reason. When we met this time upon an invitation of hers, I found that she was very loud, hyperactive and nervous while spreading confusing ideas about the world. She originally comes from a simple family, got a college education in the sixties, which was still not common for women by then, and had a quite nice career, being actually a feminist of her time. Her second husband, with whom she lived, was also a very successful person, coming actually from a well-off family. In our conversations, he was generally very aware of things happening in his surrounding while she just spoke out loud the first thing that came to her mind, not realizing that she  was a bit insulting with her “well-intentioned” ideas every now and then.

Sometimes I just wonder about the friends my aunt had. Were they actually really helpful or were they faking it all? But sometimes we just take what we get when we are in need, I guess. Forming deep friendships also isn’t a strength in my family, at least when talking about the generation before mine. My grandma made sure that they would be all scared of talking to others, she herself being afraid of gossip in the village at the time.

Now we’re in 2017, a new year, a forced switch that gives us the chance to change something in our lives. I am not really sure what that means for me. 2017, what would I want? Time to be creative, less time to worry, more time with close friends, seeing my mum again, living together with my husband, maybe a dog. Bella, our dog in Svib, got kind of interested in hunting dogs. She is so beautiful. I hope she chooses a beautiful black , long furred mountain shepherd and not a silly boar hunter. Let’s see!

A hug to you all!

Kika

 

Living in circles

Creative

Circles of time

circles of people

circles of love

and loneliness

 

Circles are …. just are

they repeat what has already been sad

and already been done

 

And life goes on

and years pass by

some circles get wider

some might get tighter

 

Only when someone’s gone

a circle breaks up

 

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Morning hours 

Creative

The sun shines gently on my skin 

While birds sing me about their past nights dreams. 

People in their thirties, forties, fifties and even sixties walk and run 

All up and down the river bank. 

The football courts are empty yet 

Because teenagers tend to sleep longer. 

My shadow,  long and slim 

Sitting on a bench while typing 

And remembering the past mornings 

That I have spent in places 

Very far from here. 

Fenced Cherry Tree in Autumn

Creative

Walking down a muddy street,

foggy air misshaping the the village I see.

No birds in the sky and no sound from heaven,

none to cross my path tonight.

 

Trouble’s blowing into my face,

giving me a cold bursting kiss

then following somebody else’s trace.

 

And I simply feel lost,

once I truly see

the fences around

the beautiful old cherry tree.

 

path-through-foggy-mountain-forest

Photo taken from miriadna.com

http://miriadna.com/

http://miriadna.com/

After the Games

Basic

Well, I don’t think that I will close I got Daisies so soon. Sometimes it is just better and easier to write. Four weeks of work on the Olympic Games are over. Today is my first day off. Well, I had one day off before the Games started. I don’t want to go into political details but all in all I have learned even more about the structures behind such huge events and how unsportsmanlike they really are. And when you talk to people about it, it looks like there are plenty of great ideas in the world of how to make things better, the only problem is, that these might not be economically profitable in the short term, so there won’t be anyone who would listen to people’s ideas.

My body somehow feels tired even though the tasks were not really difficult. I guess it is the thing with working every day non-stop that makes you feel fatigue.

Well, and to those who know how to read Portuguese: My book “Sete dias em busca da brasilidade” finally came out. You can find the print version and the digital version on any Amazon worldwide. So far I had no time to think about any marketing strategy and somehow I wish that things would just move by themselves and do and struggle and get through all by themselves.

I will stay here in Rio these days. While I am living in beautiful Méier while working, I am staying at Copacabana for a couple of days. My plans are relaxing at the beach and in the greenery. No big deal! Only my sweetheart and me! For a whole weekend! We need that!

Now I am hungry and I’ll head down the street to eat at one of the nicest bakeries in Rio: Estação do Pão! Cariocas (as people from Rio de Janeiro are called) are really good at pastries!

Have a lovely day! “Yaaaawn!”