How we help each other to heal

Observations

I have been very silent on my blog while my life was moving in all directions. It has been two months now that I rented a room/apartment in a new neighborhood and I feel that this quiet neighborhood is good for me. Since then I have done a lot of things. I am deepening my knowledge about almost everything that interests me, be it acting, contemporary arts, translation or poetry among others. And the most amazing part is the journey with others.

For each area and each part of myself, I encounter a person who corresponds to it in real life and we get into exchange. For example, thanks to the belief of Vito, a friend who is a pianist, I am about to record my first audio book and had a great first poetry reading at a bar here in Berlin. It was such a good feeling to read out my poetry and have the listeners engage emotionally. Amazing!

So, life brings all those lovely people into my reality, continuously. I am never alone. And old friends and those who are turning into friends from olden days are here, too. I am simply really happy about the love that I feel.

Also, I see that the exchange is both sided in all cases. Even though I am not always capable of defining or perceiving with what I am helping the other, I know that there is something I do somehow.

You know how it feels when you want to hug the world? Right now is such a moment!

Thank you, everybody! Thank you for helping me heal! Thank you, for letting me stay by your side the bit of time I can.

close up photo of person holding crystal stone

Photo by Deena on Pexels.com

A friend’s poem

Creative

A friend of mine wrote the following poem for me. I had to take it down from my Facebook, because she has been criticized privately by someone close for it. I won’t comment on that.

First the English translation and below the Portuguese original. Won’t share this post anywhere.

______________________________

Criticism your way

No matter what, it is unsuitable

(Without) Reason not to admire

sometimes a few extra pounds, sometimes some less

What you do is not so good

What you did not do is carelessness

It drains your energy

You talk too much, you’re talking too little

You became pale.

Protest, shine in all shades.

But there is another,

some other bright glow

penetrating you

Vibrant color

Soft voice

Courageous Heart

New angle of failure

Converted to virtue

Before it was difficult, it is irresistible now

The femme now has its fatal

The dilemma now is how not to love you

For all the other reasons that were once hard to accept.

______________________

Críticas ao seu jeito

Não importa qual, não é adequado

(Sem)Razão para não admirar

ora alguns quilos a mais, ora a menos

O que você faz não é tão bom

O que você não fez é displicência

Drena sua energia

Você fala demais, tá falando de menos

Tornou-se pálida

Protesta, Brilhe todos os tons!

Mas há outro

Outro brilho reluzente

Penetrando em você

Cor vibrante

Voz branda

Coração corajoso

Novo ângulo das falhas

Convertido em virtude

Antes difícil, irresistível agora

O femme agora tem seu fatal

Dilema agora como não amar

Por todas as outras razões que antes foram difícil aceitar.

A Simple Gentlemen from Méier

Memories

It was in 2016 that I worked during the Olympic and Paralympic Games and I stayed in the neighborhood of Méier, one of the neighborhoods with less violence in the outskirts of Rio de Janeiro. The shops and stores are simple and regular but one afternoon I passed by a small “empório”, a place where you can find imported beer, wine and other products. This was very unusual for the neighborhood and I saw that once a week they invited a food truck to host an evening with them. So I decided to go there. The place soon became my favorite bar, a place to rest after work while still enjoying the heat of the day. Soon I met Kleber, a local banking accountant who regularly met there with his psychologist after their therapy session. Kleber was around 50, never had traveled abroad, not even to another state, but was such a welcoming person. We frequently met and discussed the world and soon another close friend of his, the lawyer joined us. So you can imagine how funny the evenings were: a banker, a psychologist, a lawyer and a crazy world citizen like me. Even though my friends were much older than me and so different from myself, I enjoyed hanging out with them, because I was greeted with pure honesty and friendship.

I found out about Kleber’s cancer only two months ago. Yesterday our psychologist friend informed me about his demise. All I want to say here is that I found a true gentleman in such a simple place as Méier, who had never traveled abroad, who spoke only his mother tongue, a gentleman of a kind we rarely find in our world today. I want to say thank you for all the nice evenings we had together, all the respect and care I received and I want to remind you, dear readers, that the most special people are sometimes those who pass unnoticed by the majority in our society.

 

 

 

 

Between Years – Between Worlds

Basic

Drinking coffee in the morning. Back to Sao Paulo. I am actually not a coffee person but throughout the years I drink it more and more.

2016 was an interesting year, difficult, rich, funny, moving forward in small steps. I have spent the last days of 2016 in Svib, Croatia, with my mother and grandmother. Even the father, who is a good friend of our family, was with us on New Year’s Eve. Oh! But I am not supposed to tell you that. He is worried about local gossip. And he is right because gossipping is a very common human trait, unfortunately.

I came back to Brazil two days ago and I am not really being myself. These two worlds, winter in Svib with my family, the place where I lived from the age of 1,5 years to when I was almost five, and Sao Paulo, the biggest city in Brazil, in South America, as the song from Caetano Veloso says. My husband made me a CD before we got together. This song was on it – the version interpreted by Mutantes. It was introducing my future. I am listening to it right now. How did life go?

During my trips, I always meet friends and family, somehow mostly different parts of my past and also present, since we keep in touch. With some people I see how they move forward and develop into a good direction. I also meet people who are imprisoned in their lives and ideals given by their society, by their surroundings.  I am a fan of simple lifestyle but on the other hand, when looking at those simple dreams, such as constructing a house for your family or looking forward to your retirement at the age of 65, I find it too few to be happy with.

I have also met a person whom I had completely misjudged before. A friend of my aunt’s. She seemed so calm and nice the first time we met. As I figured out by myself, she was recovering from a surgery by then and that was maybe the reason. When we met this time upon an invitation of hers, I found that she was very loud, hyperactive and nervous while spreading confusing ideas about the world. She originally comes from a simple family, got a college education in the sixties, which was still not common for women by then, and had a quite nice career, being actually a feminist of her time. Her second husband, with whom she lived, was also a very successful person, coming actually from a well-off family. In our conversations, he was generally very aware of things happening in his surrounding while she just spoke out loud the first thing that came to her mind, not realizing that she  was a bit insulting with her “well-intentioned” ideas every now and then.

Sometimes I just wonder about the friends my aunt had. Were they actually really helpful or were they faking it all? But sometimes we just take what we get when we are in need, I guess. Forming deep friendships also isn’t a strength in my family, at least when talking about the generation before mine. My grandma made sure that they would be all scared of talking to others, she herself being afraid of gossip in the village at the time.

Now we’re in 2017, a new year, a forced switch that gives us the chance to change something in our lives. I am not really sure what that means for me. 2017, what would I want? Time to be creative, less time to worry, more time with close friends, seeing my mum again, living together with my husband, maybe a dog. Bella, our dog in Svib, got kind of interested in hunting dogs. She is so beautiful. I hope she chooses a beautiful black , long furred mountain shepherd and not a silly boar hunter. Let’s see!

A hug to you all!

Kika

 

Friends are treasures

Memories

You may change cities, jobs or even countries as I did. Sometimes we even change our partners and maybe even our gender. But friends are friends, they are there, they stay part of your life, if you want them to. Your biggest treasure. Friends are always there with an open ear. Recently I talked to some of my new friends and I am in touch again with some of my old friends, who I’ll visit soon, at least some of them.

This morning my students and me were talking about how to improve communication, how to be better listened to. Sometimes we talk to people who are against us for whatever reasons that might be. People probably gossip about you and judge you. Real friends though just listen and when they have something good to share with you, they will, but they will not impose their opinion on you. Facts are facts, opinions are opinions and hints are simply life experience.

Thank you my sweet friends, from all over this small wide wild world!

Kika

DSC00711

36 friends less on Facebook

Internet

I guess I am not the only one who is trying to get the number of Facebook friends down again. Often we have connections we have barely every talked to, sometimes we haven’t talked to them at all but they are friends of friends and you just want to be polite, so you add them. But of course that starts to limit your open expression. Since I got more than 8 students connected to me on my Facebook, I can’t write stuff like “really exhausted today” or “I need more sleep but I am getting up at half past six again”. We start to censor ourselves. I want my Facebook to get back to cosy without having to create separate friend lists. So, from time to time, I will do some radical deleting sessions like today and for professional contacts, there is still LinkedIn.

Nighty-night,

Kika

Photo of the day:
Teatime at O Cha!

Bistro O Cha Sao Paulo