And the sun has set
Stopped burning me
Try to embrace me
Understanding is giving
Giving up is giving
Observing is learning
An open heart is…
Don’t know yet.
And the sun has set
Stopped burning me
Try to embrace me
Understanding is giving
Giving up is giving
Observing is learning
An open heart is…
Don’t know yet.
Yes! Problems! Something we like to hide from family and even from friends. We don’t want anybody to worry about us and we might think, we’ll get this straight by ourselves. Also, we fear we might overload the other. When a friend comes to me and tells me about their problem, I feel a bit helpless because I would like to take all that bothers the other away in a minute, but I can’t. I think at least a day intensively about my friend’s problem.
Some of us have less problems and some others have more, depending on lifestyle, circumstances and communication skills.
Some of you might feel like me and see the same problems appearing again and again, just like circles of which we can’t get out.
I’ve tried almost everything. At first, I tried to point them out and explain myself, then I tried to see myself as the cause of the problem, then I started fighting against and I have recently also tried laissez-faire. Nothing of it really works in the long term.
So, tonight I decided to turn the wheel completely around, to finally move out of that old, smelly circle.
From now on I will try to be better prepared when the problem stops by again. I will be more thoughtful considering my words and actions and I will also be more consequent. Said and done! Actions have consequences.
I will stop to see myself as the victim and I also won’t allow anybody to point me out as the cause of the problem.
I will try to communicate much clearer my observations and needs.
Guess, this is it for now! xoxo
This poem was written for my brother-in-law and his beautiful wife. They got married in December and this is what came to my mind.
When walking uphill this morning I remembered this scene from the movie One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest where McMurphy is trying to lift a heavy sink to throw it out of the window and to leave the loony bin with his fellows.
And of course the stone sink is too heavy and he can’t. In the end he says: But I tried.
In my life I had many small and big wishes. And sometimes something worked out and sometimes it did not. But the most important thing is, that I tried. Only when you try to go for your goals will you find out if they were for you.
This is true for studies, jobs, relationships, moves and anything that brings change into your life. Don’t be passive and don’t accept what others have in mind for you. If you want to be an actor, an architect, walk the Tibetan Plateau or move to Fordwich in England, whatever it might be, you should always try. You have a good chance that things will work out. And if not, you can still say: “But I tried, damn it. At least I did that” and make peace with life.
Wow! What a tough day! Thanks to the blogger community I found the right answer to my long day! Getting up at six in the morning, finishing the last really lovely class just at 9.30 pm. Did some of the “wait for better times To Dos” in my breaks inbetween and have been confronted with a big ethical issue, too. But well! “Be inspired..!!” just posted these words and I found them great, so here’s the post and a link to the original blog.
“Change is painful, but inevitable. Sometimes you won’t understand what’s happening, you may think things are not meant to be. You may feel dejected, sad. But STOP!! Stop being miserable, stop giving up. Don’t back down. You are at the dawn of a new lesson in your life. Keep working, don’t stop. Scared of something? Face it with your head held high.”
And all of this reminds me of this great song of my early teenage years, thanks to my aunt Bianka!
I see more and more people willing to take risks in order to do something they believe is right. And this post here is to at least inspire those of you who were in doubt until now, whether they should or should not go to new horizons.
Example 1: Brazilian, Female, Mid-20ies, just moved to Croatia because of her sweetheart, who is Croatian
I am in touch with this young woman who gave up her job, sold her two storeyed house and moved to a country she had never visited before, just to give her relationship a good chance of future perspective. It has been a week since she arrived there and she is now willing to learn the language so she can find a job one day. Her boyfriend has already tried to live in Sao Paulo but found the city too dangerous. Since this gigantic place was not really an option for both to live together, she changed for clear blue water and town walls from the middle ages.
Example 2: Brazilian, Female, a bit over 60, planning to move to Spain, to the Costa Brava
My student is discovering a new herself these days and in order to become more this person, she is learning to go for her dreams. So, besides many other great activities, such as starting a blog named I will be Smiling, she now is planning to live in Spain for a year, where she is going to do a language course. To be on the save side, she plans on living with a local family. And of course, you never know what happens within that time, so a year can turn into two years and two years into forever.
Example 3: Brazilian, Male, 35, moved to Canada to study
A friend of my husband has quit his job this year in order to study at the marvellous Le Cordon Bleu and he is pretty open about what to become in the future. Right from the start he documented his experiences and changes. Have a look at these links:
Example 4: Croatian, Female, 53, my mum
My mum has moved back to Croatia two years ago, after living thirty in Germany. Her main objective was to take care of her own mum who has simply grown old. The change was nothing but easy, but she strongly believes that this is the right thing to do and thus she also passes good values to me and my cousins. After thirty years you are not familiar anymore with the culture, with language reforms and with the simple who is who in society. And moving from functioning Germany to the Croatian countryside is a real big challenge. Everything has changed but yet, after having mastered her first year, things started going a bit smoother.
Example 5: Female, 35, me
It has been five years that I live in Sao Paulo. I came to be with my sweetheart. In December 2010 I passed my last exam and moved here three months later because I really wanted us to have a life together after living for three years on different continents. I already spoke some basic Portuguese and quickly picked up new expressions and grammar from colleagues, students, family members, shop keepers and so on. I am happy with my choice, but it took me some time to learn. When I tell my story, I always divide the process in half-years. The first half year I suffered a huge cultural shock, the second I already understood the society I was living in better. The third I started to develop own ideas and strengthened the bond between me and my newly found friends. Now, this year, I started feeling Brazilian, but of course, I still speak wrongly sometimes and that actually annoys me a lot. But anyway.
The message of it all? No matter where you are in life, if settled or not, if 20 or 60, there is no expiry date on your ideas. You can still try!
Wow, now I am thinking of trying to learn some Gong Fu, because I used to say that I am too old for this for the last 25 years. I guess I am not!
Have a nice day,
PS. If you try to fulfill your big idea and you figure out that it is not what you actually wanted, just keep on changing.
The first title for this that came to my mind about 62 seconds ago was “Things should be free” but then I refrained. Actually, we still live in a world where everybody needs to make some money and where people feel useless unless they got a contract telling them how much they are worth per month.
I need to earn money, not in order to have a luxurious life, but to be able to cope with my social responsibilities and fulfil some of my dreams. But since little, I knew how wrong this system and teaching is. I was lucky to have met super teachers along my life, who just by being themselves, taught me so much. There were real teachers such as Mr. Eickhoff, Mrs. Abernethy, Mr. Vilimek, Mr, Storck, Mrs. Eder and many others, who’s names don’t come back that fast. There were life teachers, such as Benderpelz, Sarah, my first boyfriend Sascha, Goethe (even if dead), Angie, Jasmin, Nobi, Verena La Mela, Mrs. Mittler, my Sweetheart and many others I just can’t remember that fast.
Even before having studied ethics, religion or philosophy the concepts of life were simply clear, just like, when you let qa child be a child and treat it well, it just might find out itself about right and wrong. So, sometimes I am criticized a bit for not being competitive enough. And then always this memory of my first school competition was in my mind and I still think I reacted right.
We were eight years old and supposed to run our first kilometer on time. I was much taller than the other girls, so I started and there I ran in the first place. But I found it so boring to be there in the first place and when I looked around I saw this girl (this is a true story) who had real difficulties and was struggling to run. Of course, it is sad that a seven year old kid is overweight because at that age you should be more outside than inside. Anyway! i saw this girl and I wanted to start a friendship. I started falling back until I reached her and then I automatically started motivating her, what the teacher should have actually done, right? We both ended up being last, but she made her first kilometer. That was so important to me. I really did not understand why the teacher criticised me for a second for letting go. And I am in this struggle between what the world wants me to do and what I believe is right, and as many other this struggle simply will go on until the end of this life.
The girl I helped, went to another class, and our friendship only lasted those eight minutes. Now I wonder, whether she remembers this story, too.
Oh, what has it got to do with money? It’s all got to do with money!
The last three weeks I felt like I had time for nothing. As before, I was involved with many very different projects, of course some of them pure fun and unpaid, but still time consuming.
I figured out:
– Even when you are stressed because of the fact that the day only has 24 hours, you should try to do your work with pleasure. Having fun at work motivates also others and you get easier through a long day.
– Also I learned that many things in life sooner or later make sense. Stuff you once did and thought that you may have lost time, some day might turn out to be a useful skill in a new context.
– Another thing is age. Now time only walks ahead. I should take more care of my body but not get crazy about aging. For a married 35 year old woman with no kids, I still don’t look too bad. My skin has its spots and wrinkles when I smile, and it is time I accept them.
– Another topic then is purpose in life. I’ve been talking to my husband and friend about this topic recently. I think the general answer is, it is about helping other people to live better. Your generation and the next generation. It is not about us. Our time and means are limited, but since things have to end for us one day, we can invest our time and help others to have better lives. In return there are more happier people in our society, who do great things to re-contribute. That is the only possible sense in life. It is not simply about money, entertainment or having kids. It is about what you do for others, and this can bring you money, entertainment, and if you have the time and chance, also the kids.
A long weekend is coming! Next week I am taking some days off in order to finish my book project. It will also be very fine to wake up only at eight or nine in the morning.
Have a great weekend!
The photo of the day is a selfie I took yesterday! I drink more tea recently. Even when I go to work I try to nurture this new habit. My friend Lu has given me a wonderful Starbucks China Tea “Tumbler” (as Starbucks call it on their website). It is so much healthier to prepare your cup of green tea at home and take it to class instead of drinking all this bad coffee you are offered in many offices (sorry).
The first week of project “personal balance” has passed and here is a summary.
What I did?
I changed my attitude and tried to be more easy going on some things. I started deleting unnecessary web profiles. I said “thank you” more often. I reduced responsibilities by taking out one of my tasks. The effect of this will only be visible in a month from here. I started two new classes. My Saturday afternoon student cancelled and it is OK for both of us. (He was cancelling a lot and not developing much and that frustrated me. I was thinking of giving him an ultimatum or something but then the situation solved itself.) I got my Saturday afternoons back! Yippie!
How I feel?
Still a little overloaded with tasks but I can take it better because I know that things change in the long run. I actually thought whether my first post about my motivation for working so hard was correct. I concluded that what pushed me the last two years were actually additional life costs. I am helping partly my family and I had a wedding last year. All that caused a pressure for having more money on my account than I personally need. Now that the situation around me is stabilising I finally have the luxury to relax a bit more. I guess that me trying to earn more money in order to take care of other people too, is something most men suffer all their lives. Especially here in Brazil, where man are a bit more traditional. When they choose their career, they often don’t follow their heart. They have a second calculation of what awaits them in life and unfortunately put a lot of weight on the latter. Sometimes we forget, that the world (will learn to) spin(s) also without us.
What I plan doing next?
I will copy important online files but keep on deleting myself from the web. I will try to meet the friend that I have not seen in a year within the next 14 weeks. Also I would like to cook twice a week. Gymnastics for my back on a regular basis would be nice, too. I will not seek for new students.
Have a wonderful weekend all together!
Yesterday I had a long moment where suddenly the results of my actions seemed so clear. I could feel the stress of the last six months on my shoulders, professional stress, private stress, stress in my head because of having too many ideas appearing and just not feeling prepared or diligent enough to work all of them out. I realised how much time and effort I had put into work. At first I thought it was my husband’s absence causing me to turn into a workaholic but it was not that. No! I always felt like I had to do be successful in something and that basically to proof that I am capable of doing things in a good way. Of course the second reason is that I wanted to be economically as successful as the people around me. As a private language teacher I face many specialists and executive staff. I always give my best but even when I give my best “best” I don’t get every month what they receive as a salary. Thinking of growing gradually and not taking any incautious steps, I had changed my business in some parts and expanded my activities gradually. I have surely learned a lot by doing so and I know that my job, where I work with people all the time, makes me very happy. I love spending time with my students, not only teaching them, but watching them developing, hearing what they did last weekend with their loved ones and so on. But still, in the end I worked too much. It was not just the students. It was more like this:
Project 1 – language teaching
Project 2 – translating
Project 3 – specific language projects
Project 4 – my mum’s business
Project 5 – expanding the range of languages I work with by bringing the right teachers together with the right students and securing their communication. Thus I gave myself a small commission on their classes. Yesterday I suddenly felt so bad about this point, but that is for a post some other time.
Project 6 – art project proposal
Project 7 – kid’s day activities
Project 8 – my book (which is nothing more than a digital file until I find the time)
Project 09 – language learner’s videos
Project 10 – promoting all that
I am sure that if you gave me five more minutes I could count until 20. But basically, that is it. All of that, all the time, plus my private life.
So, out of a sudden I could feel how deeply stressed I was. I rethought some of my commercial activities and thought of problems that came with it. I also thought about my husband and our marriage. We only have two days a week to be together. We should really do great stuff on those two days and develop some nice things together. But in the end I kept working on weekends. And I got used to it. After three weeks of vacation some activities surely had changed but the little fact that five weekdays were not enough anymore to deal with everything remained. So I went on working weekends.
Today I posted this text on my facebook page:
Ontem tive uma experiência que me abriu os olhos. Nos últimos dois anos estava muito enfocada em ter sucesso e aumentar minha área profissional. Isso funcionou de certa forma, mas o resultado foi que estava dedicando muito pouco tempo para as coisas que gosto muito, coisas como passar mais tempo de qualidade com meu marido, claro, encontrar meus amigos mais e ter mais tempo para aprender novas coisas. Dinheiro é legal, porque você consegue regularizar a sua vida e a dos outros, mas ele não deveria seu objetivo profissional. Nossa vida dura bastante tempo e precisamos passar nosso tempo com mais pensamento. A partir de hoje meu novo projeto é “balança pessoal” e vou me dedicar a isso nos próximos meses. Vou escrever sobre essas mudanças num novo blog, que já vou criar hoje. Vou me dedicar mais então ao “viver” no futuro. Um abraço a todos e tenham uma boa semana!
I was surprised that I got comments and likes worldwide. The facebook translation tool really works well. My Polish-German fellow, my American colleague in Japan and my Swedish-Croatian friend in The Netherlands all reacted in some way to the post. In fact I got 41 likes so far. That is a lot for a simple post on my site, believe me.
But even in a world of fast online translation, I would like to post a quick translation for the non-Portuguese speakers, so that you understand it all.
Yesterday I had an eye-opening experience. For the last two years I had been to focused in having success and broadening my professional field. It even kind of worked but the result was that I dedicated very little time to doing things I liked a lot, things like spending more quality-time with my husband and of course, spending more time with my friends and also having some time to learn new things. Money is fine, because you can regulate your life and even the lives of others but it shouldn’t be you professional aim. Our life lasts for very long and it is important to think a little deeper about how to spend that time. Starting today my new project is my “personal balance” and I will work on that for the next few months. I will write about those changes in a new blog which I will create today. I will then focus on “living” in the future. A big hug to everybody and have a great week!
Why did I choose the title “I got daisies”? Honestly? All possible and impossible names were taken on wordpress. I found this line in a song performed by Sarah Vaughn, “I got rhythm”. It goes “I got daisies in green vases, I got my man, who could ask for anything more.” When I found these lines and saw that nobody had taken that address (and I really had tried plenty of very absurd names before) I decided to make it my blog’s name. Daisies are not bad and I am a girl. There is so much more to say about this title but I will keep that for some other time.
Why the blog?
We’re facing an economic crisis in Brazil, Europe is in an identity-crisis, the Chinese RMB is performing worse than ever in the last years, and all I do is creating another blog. Maybe some of you will think of it as a life style blog or something similar, but it is not. I don’t know for how long this blog will live but I want to share the experiences about changing things to the better with you, because I know it might be useful to one or two of you as well. And I intend to write about people who have already faced great and positive changes to support my idea of “quality over luxury” (definition of luxury in its basic idea: something we don’t really need and maybe not even want).
Insta photo of the day:
Shoe orgy! These arrived today. Last week I went online to get “one” extra pair of comfortable shoes and this is what happened ^~^. I know, I really did not need these but here they are. And they make me happy, too.