My Relationship With Attention


Old new topics are always coming up! Sometimes I find the creativity and relaxation I need to write a post, sometimes it becomes a poem and mostly thoughts just find their endpoints in my own mind.

There are three things to say about attention in my life. Let’s start with the second. Three years ago my dearest and sweetest mentor Marco told me that the most important thing is to pay attention. And I couldn’t agree more. When paying attention while also being capable of remaining quiet, we learn to see what is going on around us.

After he told me that, I made a bigger effort to pay more attention and recognized many things in my old relationship.

Now, the first thing I wanted to say about attention: my mother told me last Christmas that my capability of paying attention is one of my special traits. I did not consider that for a long time, also because in some sense I had to learn to close my perception, because when walking down the streets of Heidelberg, I started being very anxious. I feared that when not seeing someone I was supposed to greet, people could be mad at me. Also, I did not want to greet everybody all the time. And further, I did not want to call attention and to be seen. I was a relative attractive young woman, so eyes automatically fell on me, even when people may not have wanted to look at me. But well! Before developing a neurosis at the age of 23, I decided to start to ignore my surroundings when walking on streets. And I feel that I missed a lot of beautiful things for over a long period. Now I have them back!

The third thing is, that through mindfulness exercises and honesty towards the nature of existence itself, I started to develop a stronger attention span and I really like it. Of course, it can make life difficult, because attention has become rarer than gold in our societies. What I can see, stays invisible to most people’s eyes and minds. Yet, it is the most efficient tool to be able to develop ourselves and help others.

And the latter is what life is about: helping others.


low angle photography of red metal tower

Photo by Anni Roenkae on

Sometimes what you really need is different from what you think you need

Leisure, Work

Until one hour ago I was extremely tired. I had worked hard the last ten days without much rest. So the whole afternoon I did my things at half-mast. I really thought that a short rest in bed might help me but my mind was too full of unsolved To Dos. Thanks to my sweetheart a reminder popped up on my screen which wanted me to do a light training for a run we plan to do next weekend. Even if the weather is very hot and my Email inbox is full again, I decided to go, for the sake of love.

We are developing this new strategy for me to do more sports. So I downloaded some podcasts from a teacher living in China, but the deal is that I can only listen to them when I do physical activities. Today I listened to my first episode and can’t wait to learn more from this young lady.

Today’s outcome: two kilometres of running and 2 1/2 of walking and a body refilled with energy! And a new blog post!



The Dalai Lama’s Dreams


All of us dream at night. When we are very tired from performing our daily duties, we often can’t remember our dreams. There are people who don’t remember their dreams over years and only when they travel, their mind starts to relax and they have those flashbacks during the day.

We dream for different reasons and can’t control what comes. Sometimes we dream to learn how to solve a problem in real life, sometimes we just reflect our fears. We dream of the losses of close people. Our dreams can also reflect our desires and hopes. When I am thirsty, I dream of something cruel, so I can wake up and get a glass of water. I dream of bathrooms in early morning hours and of soft kittens when I don’t have a time to wake up.

I was wondering what the Dalai Lama’s dreams would be like. He is such a positive person with such a funny laugh but what are his fears? Does he dream of war? Does he dream of being mean sometimes? Even if being raised extremely positive and trying to be free from desires, don’t people still develop secret wishes and try to get a little tiny privilege here and there from time to time?

Tokyo Skytree

A link to the Dalai Lama’s FAQ 😉–answers