Calmness & Serenity


When I got up early this morning, there was nothing left of yesterday’s holiday feeling. A time schedule had to be followed. But the short break in the countryside gave me at least an idea about how to improve my time situation. Well, to improve may actually be exaggerated. Better would be: how can I at least not make my situation worse? A friendly professional coach suggested that I should make a T-shirt with the words “I have no time”, because this phrase is constantly coming out of my mouth. And when he asks me about the F word, he actually means “focus” and not “fuck”, as it always crosses my lips. So a T-shirt with the words “I have no f … time” would then explain two essential things about my current life.

For how many things do we have no time, because we sit on the carousel, which is going around faster and faster. And since the old, white wooden horses also look cute, we sometimes barely notice that the rush is anything but healthy for our bodies. While we are then part of the WhatsApp stories of our loved ones, we hardly get to notice anymore who is waiting there for us with their love.

The rushing has other disadvantages; One of the biggest things is that we can not hear our own inner voice anymore. No time! Peel fruits for breakfast? – No time. The good friend, who will be in front of your door in two weeks, how about calling her and talk to her again after three months and just ask how she is doing? – No time! Completing the formalities of an over-bureaucratised world around you. – No time. Take of my make-up properly before going to sleep? – Oh, please!

“Having time” was something that I have worked for the last few years and step by step. It’s something I like. I enjoy living in peace. Nevertheless, I let panic arise too easily. Sometimes I have the feeling that the more relaxed I am, others become even more restless. And very quickly, this mood gets back to me. And panic makes me feel driven and rushed, a disease women of my family suffer from, one could say.

Years ago, I once told Eric, my psychologist, about this phenomenon. I live with a loaded gun held at my back, and so felt my Aunt Franka, and so it is with my mother. There is always someone standing there telling you how incredibly lazy and inefficient you are. Actually total nonsense! But the feeling comes up again and again.

Also, Eric is online in less than ten minutes.

Calmness and serenity. Listening to the inner voice. The perception of others. The conscious experience of one’s own life. Listening to life. The serene waiting for the beautiful and simple things that always surround us, if we want that to be.

The anticipated suffering that I always carry with me when I have to make seemingly difficult decisions. Anticipated suffering whenever something looks terribly wrong. Cancel an already promised job with a signed contract 12 hours prior to departure? That’s not right. And I am suffering. But I created this situation myself. The famous self-sabotage. Why could not I see that? – I had no f … time.


background beautiful blossom calm waters

Photo by Pixabay on

Yoghurt in the morning


This morning I woke up after having slept surprisingly well. I went to bed around 10.30 pm yesterday and thus fell asleep before midnight. That really makes a big difference.

After waking up and getting ready this morning, I found the organic muesli my sweetheart bought last weekend on top of the fridge. Spontaneously I mixed it with a yoghurt (I would usually look for milk) that I had found in the fridge. Gosh, was this good. I realized that it has been a long time since I have eaten my last yoghurt and I forgot how tasty it is.

I started this blog in the second half of 2015. Its initial purpose was to track my anti-stress strategies which I wanted to share with friends and readers but 2016 has not brought me much peace so far. When thinking about how much I liked the yoghurt-mix, I felt that I should have one for breakfast every day. Then it was suddenly so clear! My life was lacking routines. It is completely out of tune with this gigantic metropolis I am living in. The sheer size of this city is just unimaginable. Every day I have to drive hours and hours. I work from morning till late in the evening and need to adapt to a new schedule weekly. My flexibility and adaptiveness have been stressed to their utmost.

When a student of mine cancelled her class this morning I took the time and went to the supermarket and bought yoghurt for the next seven days. Having a healthy breakfast shall be the first routine for me to establish.


Song of the day:

New Radicals – You Get What You Give

Cooking a homemade meal


Sounds easy but it wasn’t for me in the last few months. I am not a chef. I cannot be stressed and cook. When I am stressed, I reduce my food consumption to the very basic (noodles, whipped cream, bread, cheese, … ) or I eat out. That is not healthy in the long term.

I like cooking, I really do. Cooking is learning, too. But I also like feeling Sunday when I am cooking. A friend once made a joke and said: “I know the sun has to shine and the birds have to sing … . ”

So tonight, after my 7:30 p.m. student had cancelled his class, I went to the supermarket. The buy-and-easily-fry-dumplings trick did not work this time. All sold out! So I thought, what if I cooked tonight. And I went on, a German cookery website. So useful, but sometimes the recipes just don’t work for Brazil. I remember that time when I was desperately trying to find canned pineapples in a supermarket and only after two minutes I realized that I live in a country where they don’t need to can the pineapples because they grow them and they get freshly into the supermarket. The dish I prepared that day did of course not taste as good without all the sugar you’d find in canned pineapples.

Back to tonight: I went online and found a simple fish-recipe. Something fast, 40 minutes of preparation time and I had all ingredients at home aside from the fish. Even if I was stressed in the beginning, I started to feel very relaxed after cutting all the necessary vegetables and setting the timer for the oven. When my sweetheart comes back from Rio tonight, he is going to have a homemade meal prepared by *me* (usually he is the chef in our relationship). Uffa!

Bom Apetite (Portuguese)!


fish dish